October 3, 2009

General Conference Day!!!

I ended up having to go to Urgent Care in the morning before we went to conference afternoon session. I was having the worst pain in my stomach and my parents fear was a UTI. I did a wonderful pee test and everything came back negative.
We had to hurry home in order to get to conference. My dad got me a wheelchair so I didn't have to walk around. If I would have had to walk around, I would have been miserable for sure!!!! I felt kind of weird being in one but it was all good. My dad pushed me everywhere!!! I told him that needed to be his new job. He went a little too fast in some areas and I felt like I was going to hit the heals of people. :)
Since our tickets got everyone down low, Melissa stayed with me in the handicap area due to me not being able to walk. I ended up sleeping through some of it due to me not feeling too good. :)

October 2, 2009

I decided it was time for a change with my hair. I went to Jill and she died it all one color (brown) and cut it shorter. :) It turned out fantastic. Later on Rosey came up so we could go to dinner for her birthday!!!! She was turning 25 on the 4th but since I was unable to drive she drove to me. We went to our usual birthday spot, Texas Roadhouse!!!! We love that place and it was so great to see her and be able to talk to her about any and everything!!!!

September 28, 2009

The day TO GO HOME!!!!!!!!My breakfast was SO GOOD. I had waffles and it was just YUMMY!!!!!

I also go my staples and drainage thing taken out. The drainage thing HURT like hell getting it taken out. I was about 8 cm inside and just felt like my insides were being ripped out. Got to love that for sure! :) The staples... oh that was easy!

I was so excited to just go home and be at my own apt and not in the hospital.

I also took a pic of what the parking lot looked like all done after watching it get paved throughout the week. :)

September 27, 2009

Dr. Jolles came to visit and see how I was doing. He gave me the best news, I COULD EAT NORMAL FOOD and GO HOME tomorrow. :) I was so excited to get out of the hospital.



Since I could have normal food my mom went out and got me Quizons. I not a huge fan of that place but it sounded and tasted so good. After a week of nothing but jello and chicken broth, anything would have tasted good.

At this point it was nothing but the waiting game til I could go home. :) I spent a lot of time watching TV and talking to my mom. I slept here and there but it was not that easy.

September 26, 2009

My mom flew in this day. My dad, Tina, and Peter went up to Park City to do the zip line and just have fun up there. :) I wish I could have gone but alas... I was stuck in the hospital still... Oh yeah I just had surgery. Would not have been a good idea at all! haha I was still getting my all liquids meals and hating EVERY second of it. Im sure the nurses were sick of me asking if I could have normal food yet.

My mom and I watched motorcycle rally go on. It was happening at the Murray park and it was so cool to see tons of motorcycles ride off. Too bad I could not hear them. :)

September 25, 2009

Friday!!!!! By this day I was so sick of being in the hospital. I had Kaylee as a nurse again along with this guy Brandon. He was way cool and my dad and him bonded!!! hahaha I was so excited because I was going to go home the next day.

I got my oxygen off, epidural out, catheder out, and IV topped off. I was getting ready to bust a move OUT! My mom was also going to be flying in the next day. The best thing too.... I COULD TAKE A SHOWER!!!!! WHOOHOOO!!!!!! :)

My family came to visit me along with Rosey, Ben, and Cameron. I was so happy to have people around me. It was fantastic.

However, once everyone left, I went down hill FAST. I was laying in bed and had the urge to throw up. I grabbed the trash can and threw it over me (bad idea) in order for me to not get it everywhere. I had to call Brandon to come in and help me because I needed a new gown and bedding. Sucks when you dont feel good.

Due to this nice little throwing up... I was told I would have to stay until atleast Monday!!!! Great, more time in the hospital with NO FOOD. I was still on an ALL liquid diet. NO FUN!!!!

September 24, 2009

Today was the day to get out of bed and try to walk around!!!! :) Yesterday i tried to however since my leg was numb I did not succeed. I made it from the bed to the chair with the help of my nurse, CNA, and dad!!! I was actually able to get up and make a round around the 11th floor!!!

It was kind of weird to walk around with my catheter but my dad made it funny saying that we had my pee in tow! :) hahaha It was cool to see the other nurses and CNA's that were helping me encourage me to walk more. Again, they were SO nice and just the best people EVER!

I had one of the best views in the hospital, I thought!!! My room faced the mountains and where Life Flight would land. My dad and I actually watched these construction people make a parking lot. In the week I was in the hospital we watched it start from just dirt to a fully surfaced parking lot. haha

As far as meals go, all I had AGAIN was Chicken broth, Jello, and orange gelato. No matter how hard I tried to convince the nurse that I was fine to eat regular food, didn't work! However, I was given some pudding!!! hahaha Yes, it worked!

Dr. Jolles also came in today with the verdict of what was found. Before he even made it through the door all he could say was, "It's a miracle!" He could not explain how the other tumor that was found was not cancer. He said I was cancer free and that it was all gone!!!! I didn't know how to react. My grandma and dad were so happy they didn't know how to react either.

My dad walked out of the room for a minute after the doctor left to have a moment to himself. He told me while he was out there staring at the mountains, he heard a voice that said, "I healed her!" Wow!!!! When my dad told me that I was overwhelmed. I know I had a HUGE smile on my face to know that I was healed and that it truly was a miracle that I was cancer free.

I was at a loss trying to figure out how in the world I could thank everyone for all the love, support, tears, prayers, blessings, etc. that were given in my name. I felt so loved and thankful to anyone and everyone!!!!!

The Keith family came to visit me and we had a blast. Even though I could not move much it was nice to have visitors!!! The trip to Murray is a long one from Ogden but it was so cool to have them drive. They are so supportive of me and I love them to death!!!!

One of the most memorable moments of the day was at night when I had a new nurse come in, Leslie. She said she had heard the good news and was happy for me. My dad told her of his experience and how it truly was a miracle. At that moment it was the first time I had cried!!! All these emotions swelled and starting coming out. Leslie became teary eyed too and gave me a HUGE hug!!! She reminded me a lot of my mom and it was great to have her and my dad there while I started to realize everything that had happen for the day.

September 23, 2009

These things on my legs massaged my calves the whole time while in bed. It was great. They were to prevent blood clots!

I didn't sleep very well the night of my surgery. I felt so weird because of the anesthesia and my right leg was totally numb. I knew in my head that I was touching my leg but it felt as though my leg was HUGE and could not feel a thing!!!!!

I had this nurse come in that was so happy EARLY in the morning. I mean it was like 7AM!!!! She comes in and says her name is Kaylee and that she was going to be my nurse for the day. I could already tell that she was going to be a fun nurse to have. My CNA was Devin and he was way cool!!!!

When breakfast came around all I wanted to do was eat! However I was only allowed to have ice chips!!!!! What?! ICE CHIPS!!! It was the worst 3 meals for the day EVER.

Since I had to be on oxygen due to my pneumonia, bronchitis, asthma, and pleurisy I had to be checked every hour. My heart rate had to be monitored as well as my oxygen levels. At one point my heart rate was so low I was on watch. Normally your heart rate should be about 80... mine was 40. Yeah, not good!

My CNA and nurse both came in at one point and said todays task was to get out of bed and walk. Um... How was I going to do that with a numb leg?! Yeah I knew I was not going to be able to do that at all. So when Kaylee and Devin came back in for me to get out of bed, I knew this was going to be interesting!!!! My dad had to help as I tried to move my right leg. I literally couldnt!!!! All three of them had to help my move less then a foot to the chair. Walking, not possible!!! hahaha I sat in the chair for about 30 mins but then I had to get back in bed. Atleast I got out of bed!

One thing I will admit to though, it is the best to have a catheter. It doesn't hurt at all and I didn't have any sensation to get up and go to the bathroom. It was so wonderful. Anyways....

I was on so much pain meds I would pass out right in the middle of texting and changing the channel. At one point, Kaylee came in and I had passed out ending on the channel with Barney. HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH

Emily and Richard came to visit me. It was cool to have them both come to see me. :) I loved having them there!!!!! Richard drew me something on the white board to cheer me up and loved the hospital gloves. I was suppose to take a box for him, but I forgot!!!! OOPS!!!

September 22, 2009 Surgery Day!

SURGERY DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I ended up going into surgery about 9:00am! It took forever to get ready and into the operating room. I got cool hospital pants I didn't get the last time. :) They kept my legs nice and WARM!!! The one thing I did not like was the Heparin shot. I got it in the back of my arm to prevent blood clots from forming. It hurt like a MOTHER!!!

The CNA who took me to the operating room was Kandice who actually ended up being a friend of my friend Rachel. :) I had met her before so it was cool to talk to her. I have never had to take the elevator up to a surgery room before but the IMC is HUGE!!!

When I got to the right room I had to lay in the bed in the hallway. It was weird to see all the other people waiting for surgery in the hallway too. I asked what the deal was and they said it was the busiest day in a long time for surgeries. HAHA Go figure!!!

My anesthesiologist happen to be a guy from Waukesha, WI!!!! It seriously is the weirdest thing how WI and UT always have some correlation. He actually ended going to Waukesha West... the RIVALS!!!!! :)

Once I got in the operating room I had to drape myself over the edge of the bed to get an epidural. The last time I got one I was actually asleep so it was weird to be awake for this one. I got some meds in my IV and I remember bits and pieces of the epidural. I remember getting asked questions as to which direction I could feel it and I can remember some of the pain. :)

Next thing I knew.... I was trying to wake up in the recovery room. I tend to have a hard time waking up. After my first surgery I was great and didn't feel sick at all.... I was actually a little TOO happy. ;) But this one was different! I was so sick when I was trying to wake up. I ended up throwing up a little bit and had a hard time breathing.

Once I was brought to my room I really was out of it. I asked my dad how the surgery went and he said this weird look on his face. I instantly knew something was up and that I needed to hear what he had to say. However, he gave me a blessing the night before and in that blessing he mentioned that the doctors were going to find things and that they were going to be very attentive to my every need. So in all honesty, I was totally prepared to hear anything.

I was told I had another tumor in my right ovary, the size of a kiwi and I had regrowth where my left ovary use to be. Dr Jolles didn't really tell my dad much other than that it looked like there was cancer again and I would need to prepare for a possible full hysterectomy. WHAT?! All my lady parts gone?! I was not prepared for that one!!!!!!!!!!

My dad and I ended up staying up for a while talking about my options and what this meant for me. I was so scared and nervous. My number one fear was that I was not going to be able to have kids and that I would never find someone that would want to be with me due to my situation.

Here I am, 24 and an Ovarian Cancer patient... I thought I was doomed however I did not let anyone know how I was feeling. I didn't know what to do...

September 21, 2009

Dad flew in this day which ended up being his birthday. He wanted to be the one to be there for me as I was in the hospital. :) He is just the best dad EVER and I love him to death.

That night after we all got off work, we went over to Tina and Peters for dinner and pie from Sandys! BE PIE IN THE WORLD!!!!

I felt as though my ovaries we being kicked in this day to which Melissa replied that I only had one so I needed to refer to my ovary. Hahahaha Nope, I in fact meant what I said because my left side was killing me as well.

This night I barely slept because I had to get up so early to get down to the IMC in Murray by 6:30am!!!!!!!!

September 19, 2009

Richard, Emily, Josh, Leslie, and I went to the Utah State Fair. It was fantastic... smelled like crap on one end, heard sounds of the derby on another end, there was the worlds smallest woman there and to see her you had to pay money. Really, there are the most interesting people that go to the State Fair and its actually kind of creepy. However, we all had a blast!!! :)

September 5, 2009

What a weekend this turned out to be. I went to the Jon Schmidt concert at Thanksgiving point with Rosey, Tina and Peter! I seriously had a blast!!!!!! The line was forever long to get into the concert but once we were inside we found a pretty good spot to sit. TONS of people showed up, I was amazed. You know you are in Utah when Jon Schmidt asks from the stage, "Does anyone know if BYU won?!" Then the crowd cheers loud with people screaming "YA!!!!" because they had beaten Oklahoma 14-14. HAHAHAHAHA Not a BYU fan so I could care less. :)

September 4, 2009

This night Melissa, Tina, Peter, Rosey and I went to Park City, UT. Since my family planned to go to Park City when they come out for Conference we went up there before I would have to have surgery. We rode the chair lift up to the Alpine Slide!!! :) We had not been on the slide for years and I had wanted to go for the longest time! I had to take it easy since my stomach was still trying to heal from my first surgery but that didn't stop me from going as fast as I could down.

The best part was that we were all at the bottom waiting for none other than... Melissa!!! haha We got kind of worried that something had happen to her since it took her FOREVER to make it down. However given that there were some steep dips, we all knew she would freak out a little and go as slow as she could. Alas, Melissa did make it to the bottom with nothing but her infamous smile!

September 3, 2009

This was the day I went to see Dr. Christopher Jolles. My appointment was at 5pm but since it was an appointment he made to squeeze me in I had to wait til about 5:45pm to see him. While waiting in the office, the average age of the women in the office was about 65. I felt so young yet so bad for the women in there since they had all been going through Chemotherapy.

I was not really sure what to expect in this appointment nor did I know how the doctor was going to be. Talking with him about the options and things that would need to be done I felt such a peaceful and calm feeling about Dr. Jolles. After reading through my chart he was particularly drawn to my appendix rupturing when I was 12. He said that when the appendix ruptures the fluid can create tumors on the ovaries which is exactly what happen to me. He started to write out the options I could do until the surgery notes were faxed in. Once he read that the tumor ruptured as it was being removed his plan of attack changed! He was concerned that since there was cancer within the tumor which suffocated my ovary he would need to do exploratory surgery in order to rule out the possibility of the cancer cells embedding themselves elsewhere.

At this point I was pretty speechless while he was telling me everything. My grandma was actually the one asking all the questions and getting the info since I didn't know what to say or do. The end result was SURGERY... AGAIN!!! Jolles said he would need to take biopsies of my organs and tissues and whatever needed to be done! Honestly, I was sad, upset, calm, confused, and happy all in one. The reason I say happy is because I felt that Jolles was a very good doctor. He is one of the only doctors in the state that specializes in female cancer like mine. He had such a caring and composed nature about him that I felt very confident.

After the appointment I called my family to let them know the verdict and start to get things worked out for my next surgery. My grandma and I went to Paradise Bakery in Bountiful to eat dinner. FYI, Paradise is SO GREAT!!! Joshua Allen introduced me to it and I have been there a couple times since, I LOVE IT!!!

The Catch up post!!!

Seeing as the last time I posted anything was over a month ago I figured it was time to finally catch up to whats been going on. Im going to have to resort all the way back to August 21st... the day Tina dubbed "D" day! hahahaha

I went in for my 3 weeks check up after surgery in which I thought it was just going to be one of those look at the scar and everythings ok deal. I had lost a total of 22 pounds at this point and was feeling great.. but...NOPE! Such was not the case. Dr. Johnasson walked in and put my scar on the table and said, "Well, I'm going to need to talk to you about your pathology results." I thought to myself... ok great, lets talk about it! Well much to my surprise she said I was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer. I was so numb at the very moment that all I could think to say to her was, "Well damn, now what?!" I never expected to go into the doctor and come out with that type of news so I didn't know what to do. She went on to tell me that it was found in the tumor that was removed and she had already set up an appointment with me to the a female cancer specialist in SLC, Dr. Christopher Jolles. According to her, my right ovary looked fine and she was not worried at all. Julia was not sure what Jolles was going to say or have me do but at this point my situation was out of her hands.

I didnt know what to do and the emotions where numb at this point. As soon as I got out to my car I could not hold back any tears. I had just heard that dreadful C word I never thought I would ever hear!! I called my mom and she didnt answer so I called my dad. I could barely make any words out to tell him what I had just been told. I remember him saying, "Oh hun, I am so sorry!!! What does this mean now? Dont worry you will be fine and we will get through this together!!" After talking with my mom and dad I sent work an email and told them what I had just found out and I would not be able to make it in the office. I was not able to talk to anyone at this point because I knew I would just start crying. My mom, that great person that she is, called my grandma Nebeker and she drove down to Ogden from Brigham City and took me out to lunch. We talked a little bit about what I had just been told and where I was going to go from there.

I really had no other answers until my appointment with Jolles the 3rd of Septemeber